From Drama to Growth: Helpful vs Unhelpful Responses at Work

Using the Drama Triangle and the Winner’s Triangle to transform behaviour in your team

You know the feeling.

That moment in a meeting when someone sighs loudly, says “fine” (but clearly means anything but), or swoops in to fix a problem that no one asked them to solve.

These aren’t just bad habits. They’re part of a bigger pattern—one that can quietly shape the culture of your team and the success of your business. That pattern is called the Drama Triangle.

🎭 The Drama Triangle: A Fast Track to Frustration

The Drama Triangle is a psychological model created by Stephen Karpman. It describes three unhelpful roles we can fall into- especially under pressure:

• The Victim: “It’s not fair.” “Why does this always happen to me?”

  
  

  → Feels powerless and stuck.

  
  

• The Rescuer: “Let me sort this out for you.”

  
  

  → Jumps in, even when it’s not their role, often avoiding their own work.

  
  

• The Persecutor: “You’re doing it wrong.”

  
  

  → Uses blame, criticism, or control instead of collaboration.

What’s tricky is these roles are reactive. Most of us drift into them without noticing- especially when stressed, tired, or under pressure to perform. In many environments they can be especially damaging. Conversations become tense, clarity drops, and performance suffers.

But there’s a way out.

💡 The Winner’s Triangle: Your Blueprint for Growth

Enter the Winner’s Triangle, created by Acey Choy as a positive alternative to Karpman’s model. It flips the script on drama and offers three empowered roles instead:

• The Vulnerable Self (instead of Victim)

  
  

  → Asks for help when needed, takes responsibility, and owns their emotions.

• The Caring Coach (instead of Rescuer)

  
  

  → Offers support only when invited, and helps others build their own solutions.

• The Assertive Challenger (instead of Persecutor)

  
  

  → Sets boundaries, communicates clearly, and challenges constructively.

This shift isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aware. And in a work environment, it’s the difference between a reactive team and a resilient one.

🚦Helpful vs Unhelpful Responses: Spot the Shift

Here’s what this looks like in real-life situations:

It’s subtle. But powerful.

Because the shift from drama to growth starts with self-awareness—and that’s where real transformation happens.

🧭 So, where do you go from here?

Start by asking yourself (and your team):

• When things get tough, which triangle do we fall into?

• Do we jump to fixing, blaming, or giving up?

• Or are we building a culture of ownership, support, and challenge?

If you want your team to communicate better, handle pressure more effectively, and actually enjoy working together, these are the conversations that matter.

🚀 Want help making the shift?

This is exactly the kind of work I do with leadership teams, telesales departments, and business owners- bringing clarity to chaos and helping people respond instead of react.

If you’re ready to build a high-performing culture that works without the drama, let’s talk.

📩 anna@room11coaching.co.uk / 07834 483585 / https://calendly.com/room-11-coaching/30-minute-intro-call

Book a call | Let’s chat 💬